ParentLine

 

Dear ParentLine,

We’re planning a family vacation which will involve several days of travel in the car.  I often find that a forty-five minute car trip with my three and six-year-old is a nightmare and I’m dreading this part of the vacation.  What can we do to make the trip easier for all of us? 

Signed, Nervous in Newport, NH

 

OK, ParentLine’s curious.  Are your kids badly behaved before they get into the car or does the fact that gas costs over four bucks per gallon put everyone in a bad humor?  So, how come a short trip’s a nightmare?  Put the question another way.  Who’s driving the bus here?   When the whiny, crumb-covered, sibling-goading little angels demand to know Are we there yet?, do they act that way because somebody lets them?

 

It’s not reasonable to expect that a longer version of the short trips you describe will have any different outcome.  You, as parent, have a choice in this matter.  In fact, you have a responsibility. You can maintain the unpleasant status-quo or you can stop and change gears.

 

This summer, get smart and plan a series of “practice” runs.  Along with a new set of rules to cover the everyday trips to the grocery store or mall, engage in a more rigorous re-training program to teach your little darlings special Vacation Trip car manners.  (However, this year, in light of gas prices, you might plan to make your destination the inflatable pool in the back yard.) 

 

Begin with a simple statement like, “When we go on vacation, here’s how we act in the car.”  Show the kids how to pack their books and toys.  It’s never too early to teach your kids how to load a backpack.  Next, help them make their lunches.  It’s never too early to teach your kids how to make a PB & J and wash a piece of fruit.  In a couple of years when the kids go to school, they’ll need to know how to do both of these activities. 

 

If you are planning to take a family vacation to get away from the every-day world, you may want to consider leaving electronic devices and video games at home.  Could there be a connection between the ways we divide our attention between what’s happening at the other end of the cell phone or on a video screen and how we can’t seem to connect in real time in any meaningful way any more?  You need to pay attention to the kids and you need them to be able to pay attention to you as well as to entertain themselves.

 

OK, line ‘em up, head ‘em out and load everyone into the car.  Buckle up, roll down the car windows, and take your seat behind the wheel.  Finally, do not turn on the ignition.  You bet there’ll be looks of surprise from kids.  If your stay-at-home vacations don’t last any more than a half an hour at a time and you don’t move out of the driveway but you do manage to reconnect with the kids and teach them some manners, you may find these to be the best, most inexpensive and happiest mini-breaks ever!

 

However, if you’re absolutely determined to do a family Road Show, bear in mind that the week before vacation’s hardly enough time to start “transportation training.”  Jodie Lyon, author of “Tried and True Tips for Traveling with Kids,” from Mommies Magazine (www.mommiesmagazine.com) offers the following:.

    • Prepare for the trip early.  Make a list of everything you may need in case of an emergency.  Make sure you have plenty of things in easy to access bags like extra diapers, clothes, snacks.
    • Get the kids involved.   Who says they can’t help to pick out a place and magically become part of the “adventure?”  Show them a few choices written out on a piece of paper and let them look at the areas with you on the Internet.  Print out information sheets on the ones they are excited about.  Don’t show or print out any place that you’re not really considering. 
    • Pack surprises in their luggage.  Little things will delight them when they are found.  These kinds of things will make the vacation more exciting and will give the kids something more to do. 
    • Make sure to take along old favorites.  Despite any new toys or games they may have gotten recently; they will always want some of their special, older ones, whether they agree with this or not while packing.
    • Travel in the early mornings or late evenings.  If you travel an off-time when the kids are sleepy, they won’t be bothered by the extended traveling times, as they will probably sleep for most of the initial time.
    • Don’t forget to pack plenty of snacks.  Whether you’re traveling with a baby, toddler, or preschooler, pack water and light, edible no-mess snacks, excluding chocolate and anything else with caffeine. Provide baby with liquids and/or something to suck. 
    • Don’t forget the wipes.  These can be used by everyone for cleanup of any mess.   In addition, they can be taken out of their original packaging and placed inside a plastic freezer bag for easier, less bulky packing.
  • Make sure your emergency contact information is current.  The information for phone numbers, names of doctors and friends/relatives to contact change from time to time.  In addition, carry a current photo of your family in your wallet, purse or whatever travel sack you are using to carry valuables.  Save time and write out your directions.  This saves time, energy, and sanity when traveling with kids and especially with a baby.  If you have the travel route written down, you will not have to attempt to read maps or figure out where you need to go next with baby and kids in tow, which can be an exasperating task.  Instead of wrestling with a large map, you can easily read directions on a pad and follow then in sequence as long as you print legibly.

 

A great blog article titled Tips for Traveling with Children (http://biz-blogs.com) asks, “Why not use some of that idle travel time to pack in some learning activities for the kids?”  Here are some tips for parents who want to engage their children in learning, creating, and exploring.

    • Take a sketch pad along.  Create a family memory book with your children.  Share family holiday memories and illustrate them in the book.
    • Bring along some blank note paper or note cards, and help your child create some original greeting cards.  Illustrate them with original drawings, and add short original verses.
    • Encourage reading during travel.  Bring some of your children’s favorite books and encourage your children to read.  Discuss the topics before you leave and let the kids help choose the topics.
  • Instead of videos or DVDs, why not buy a talking book (recorded version of a classic) and play that while you travel?

 

These are just some of the ways you can make for a memorable and stress-free trip for the whole family.   Happy traveling!

 

ParentLine is a free and confidential service of Child and Family Services, a statewide, independent, nonprofit organization dedicated to advancing the well-being of children and families.  Call ParentLine, 1-800-640-6486;  write ParentLine, c/o Child and Family Services, P.O. Box 448, Manchester, NH; email parentline@cfsnh.org or visit our website at www.cfsnh.org.